Dwarves Only
by writtenndust
Summary: Regina makes a deal with the dwarves for Zelena's green station wagon.


So I'm currently doing a full re-watch of OUAT, start-to-finish and when I was watching 2x02 "We are Both" I spotted the green station wagon parked at the town line when the dwarves were testing the boundaries of the broken curse. So, of course, it opened up another opportunity for me to write about Regina's relationship with the dwarves, the purest representation of Regina as Queen, and her subjects. So this happened.

* * *

Regina slowly ambled her black Mercedes along Main St, turning onto Third, just before the Cannery. Granny was standing just outside the little pizza place on the corner, shouting through the door - she could only imagine it was the start of another feud over Pizza vs Granny's frozen Lasagne but Regina didn't particularly care how that one turned out. They'd been fighting about it every day for twenty-eight years, then the curse had broken, the town had grown and changed and learned, and they were still battling over tomato-based sauces.

She slowed the car to a literal crawl when she spotted her target, the hideous green station wagon with the little pod window at the back. She winced at the glaring colour and the horrible, eighties design. After spending so many years in this world without magic, Regina had learned to see the irony in having dropped everyone in the most fashion backwards decade this world had ever known, especially considering her own proclivities where fashion was concerned. She was mostly glad that she had missed the memo on the hairstyles, when casting the curse.

She took a deep breath, pulling into an empty space across the street. The wind buffeted her camel coat as she climbed out of the car, that icy Maine chill that swept through Storybrooke a couple of times a day, when the weather was changing, ruffling the flared skirt. She readjusted her coat, straightening the tie at her waist before she pressed her black-leather, gloved hand to the back of her head, re-securing her felt cloche hat. She checked her appearance in her side mirror, satisfied, before straightening her spine and heading across the street.

The house the car was parked in front of was likely the second largest in Storybrooke, next to her own. Though where her's was large, ornate and some would say, ostentatious, the house she was looking at from the sidewalk was a ramshackle hodgepodge of DIY fix-it jobs done skilfully, but with little care for aesthetic. The building was once a set of terrace homes, all separated and individual, but for the walls they shared. Now, the fire-escapes interlocked, patches to the exterior siding were mis-matched and criss-crossed from one terrace to the next, weather-proofing the outside, but not bothering to isolate one building from the next. There was a small garden out front, it's flowers left to their own, even though that too, was tended to with what appeared to be a loving, if not skilled hand.

She could see that three of the doors that faced Third Ave were all boarded up and closed off, leaving the one door in the middle of the building she was currently standing across from, as the remaining entryway. She made her way up the footpath, smirking at the little signs that littered the sides of the path, warning away evil-doers and demons from what was professed to be a happy, wholesome home. She smirked, stepping her designer leather boot over a small sign brandishing an image of her evil self, with a large red 'X' painted over her face. She found that it no longer offended, but simply amused her.

She made her way up the steps, reading the largest of the signs that stood just before the broad, weathered brown doors that would take her inside and out of the chill. It was hung directly at her eye height, professing, 'no trespassers beyond' with a line at the height of her nose to indicate one had to be shorter than the required maximum, to pass. 'Dwarves Only' was painted across the top and Regina frowned.

* * *

"What do we do?" Doc muttered, his voice shaky as Grumpy discretely pulled the curtain back from the bay window over-looking their front stoop. His brother was antsy, gripping his arm, as the others continued to argue over their breakfast, unaware of what Doc had only just brought to Grumpy's attention - the Queen was currently standing outside their front door.

For a moment he considered that she may blow down the door with a gust of magic, come barging in like she was once known to do, but then he remembered all he'd seen of her over the years, the changes she'd made and he remembered, as his stomach growled for want of his bacon sitting dangerously unattended at his empty seat beside Dopey, the magical flavours that danced in his mouth the first time he'd tried her lasagne.

"I don't know," he hissed, shaking his brother's nervous grip from his arm. "She's not evil anymore, right, she can't be here to kill us."

"Do we know that for sure?"

Grumpy hesitated. "No." He frowned. "I mean, I'm pretty sure. She's nice now, isn't she?"

"Is she?"

"I think so."

They all silenced and froze, when the gentle rapping of small knuckles could be heard against the wood of the door. Doc went into a frenzy, panicking and running back to the table, waving his arms for want of what to do. The other dwarves worried their lips or widened their eyes as Grumpy made his way, tentatively, to the door. He dropped his hand to the doorknob, waving his arm behind him to shush his frantic brothers before, with a deep breath, he opened it.

And there she stood, fresh-faced and pretty as Snow White - _though he was loathe to tell her_ \- prettier, even - _though he was loathe to tell Snow_ \- smiling the widest, warmest smile he'd never thought he'd ever see on her, not laced with a terrifying promise of dismemberment.

"Good Morning, Leroy," she spoke kindly and he could see her twisting her gloved hands together in front of her, as if nervous. It surprised him to the point of staring at her, silently, for long enough that her smile fell away and she became worried, her gaze flitting from his face, to his gaping-mouthed brothers behind him. "Have I come at a bad time?"

He blinked again, still staring, waiting for the punchline. When no threat was forthcoming, when she tried to hold her gentle smile for longer than she was clearly used to, he seemed to snap out of his stunned surprise.

"Ah, no, Mayor, we're just serving up breakfast."

"Please, Leroy, you can all call me Regina, if you like."

"Ah," He hesitated, looking at her out the side of his eye as he half-turned back to his confused brothers. "Yeah, sure," He rolled the name around in his head for a few seconds, cataloging it, working out whether or not it was too intimate to speak, to the woman that had terrorised him and his brothers and their friends for so many years. "Ah…Regina."

Her smile seemed to widen and dare he witness it, a little sheen spread across her dark, no longer malicious, eyes as she nodded, apparently grateful for his use of her name, to his surprise.

"Would you mind if I come in?"

His eyes narrowed and shifted to the sign just to her right, as he shifted his thumb to indicate the height-line. "Sorry, sister, dwarves only."

She looked to the sign and blinked. He watched her, saw the expression on her face change several times as she considered the rule. Truthfully, it had been put there to keep most of the townsfolk out, to keep her evil self and her mile-high hair out when she was on the war-path. He remembered then, the signs on their front walk plastered with her face and he inwardly winced, remembering he'd meant to remove those particular signs when she'd promised she wouldn't try to kill them anymore. What surprised him, suddenly, was that he felt actual guilt for having left them up.

The Queen didn't answer his statement, just continued to stare at the sign in silence before a small, delicate little smirk spread across her, full, crimson lips. "Is that so?" Her eyes turned back to him.

Grumpy swallowed, suddenly nervous that he'd ticked her off. He shifted to take a step back from her, ready to slam the door and run when suddenly, surprised for an uncountable time that morning, she bent down and lifted her foot, reaching for the zipper on her boot.

He watched, knowing his brothers were craning their necks to see around him as she demurely unzipped and removed her knee-high boots with their six-inch heels. She pressed them together, placing them gently against the door frame before returning to her full height, grinning widely when she stood before him, suddenly a good couple of inches shorter than him.

"So," Her eyes danced with mirth and he couldn't help but be impressed by it. "May I _please_ , come in?"

He stepped aside dumbly, holding the door open for her as she thanked him quietly and stepped into their living room.

* * *

Regina stepped into the room, pulling her gloves off with a little rush of satisfaction. She may have changed and grown and embraced her goodness; she may have become a hero. But there was that little part of her that had taken back a bit of the Evil Queen's darkness, a part she'd realised she liked - her competitive streak, her edge, her quick wit. No one had really addressed that it had waned, in the time she'd spent trying to rid herself of her twin, of her evil side. But she had felt that spark die out of her. She'd felt her sharp comebacks to stupid comments of her friends and family, lacked that little sharpness that she had always enjoyed.

Winning the battle and earning a step into the dwarves home, was that little touch of spice that she had lacked. A little victory, touched by just a little bit of spite.

She looked around, smiling genuinely at the group of dwarves all frozen mid-task and staring at her from the comically large dining table with mis-matched, character appropriate chairs. Like they'd all brought their favourite, from the separate homes they'd had during the curse, and pulled them all together in this place.

The room itself oozed that it housed seven perpetual bachelors, with weathered floral carpet they hadn't bothered to replace, wallpaper that was peeling at the cornices and a large, open fireplace with ash they'd attempted to sweep back towards the hearth with an awkward, nonchalance. It was homely, if eclectic and a million miles from anywhere Regina would be caught dead, siting her coat on.

"What can we do for you, Your M-" Grumpy hesitated when she turned to him, before giving her a small smile and correcting. "Regina?"

She continued to overtly survey the room, knowing it was expected of her to outwardly judge and scold them, they wouldn't know her if she didn't at least try, so she made a point of turning her nose up at a clearly well-loved patchwork quilt that she picked up between two fingers from the sofa, then dropped back down as if it had burned her. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Happy shuffle in his chair, but Sneezy's hand on his arm, stopped him.

"I'm here to ask you about the green station-wagon you have out front," Grumpy blinked and looked to Bashful, who had uncharacteristically jumped up at the mention. "I want to buy it."

"You?" Grumpy eyed her, skeptically. "You wanna buy Bashful's wagon?"

Regina turned her eyes to the dwarf mentioned, standing with his hands gripped tightly to the edge of the table. She'd almost think him ready to pounce, were it not for the fear she saw in his eyes. "I do," She answered haughtily, turning her eyes back to the most vocal of the dwarves. "And I'm prepared to pay well for it."

"I-It's not for s-sale!" Bashful spoke, his voice shaky but his eyes certain. Regina chuckled, ignoring him in favour of Grumpy's more level-headed, calculating look.

"What you offering, sister?" He crossed his arms over his chest, ready to bargain and Regina jumped only slightly, surprised when Bashful dashed past her to grab his brother and shake him.

"You can't sell my car," He implored. "I love my car."

"What do you want for it?" Regina's chin raised, defiant.

"What have you got?" Grumpy kept his expression impassive.

"I think a thousand should suffice."

Grumpy scoffed, shaking Bashful's pawing hands away. His brother was pulling at his sleeves, yanking on his arms, but Grumpy was ignoring him.

"Two thousand."

It was Regina's turn to scoff, tugging her gloves back onto her hands, making her way for the door as she shook her head. "Not a chance, it's not worth the one that I offered." Suddenly, having had a thought, Bashful grabbed his brother's shoulder, yanking him sideways to whisper something in his ear and Grumpy felt a surge of confidence. He met his brother's eye and the other dwarf just nodded eagerly, ushering Grumpy to speak for him.

"Fine," Grumpy's voice stopped her as she rested her hand on the door knob. She stopped and turned with a smirk, waiting in askance for what he was about to add. "One thousand," Her lips curled up at the edges, her battle won, her expression set and ready to gloat when he raised his finger to make an amendment. "And,"

Her eyes narrowed and her voice lowered to that sharp impatience they were all accustomed to. "And _what,_ dwarf?" She snapped and Grumpy grinned, conspiratorially meeting Bashful's eye, before glancing at each of his brothers and looking back to her confused, suspicious expression.

He moved slowly towards her as he spoke, a measured step with every word until he was standing before her, looking every bit the winner of their little tete-a-tete."One Friday every month, we want two," Bashful cut him off with a smack to his arm. "Three pre-curse Lasagnes delivered to our door."

"Pre-curse?" She looked down her nose at him, but she was considering it.

"No magic," He clarified. "Straight up, Mayor Mills Lasagne, old-school." His eyes narrowed, towering over her as he added. "And we'll know if it's been frozen, trust me."

Regina edged away from him, her hand still on the door knob behind her as she pressed her back to the frame. "How about," she tilted her head up as he took a single step back, so fearless of her she was surprised. "How about we make it every second Friday, and you give me the car for free."

"Deal." He held his hand out, poised to shake on it and Regina hesitated, looking down at his large, calloused and weathered hand. She let go of the door knob, moving her hand around slowly to place it in his, surprised when their hands touched and he didn't flinch away.

"Deal." She said quietly, marvelling at how they didn't cower from her. "I expect you can drop it at my house, this afternoon."

"Sure thing, sister."

Regina nodded, reaching again for the door knob and this time, turning it. She reached for her shoes as she nodded to each of the dwarves who, to her astonishment, each offered their own version of a soft, half-smile. She could feel her cheeks heat at the idea of not being feared - she realised that she rather liked it.

"Hey, Regina!" Grumpy called as she was halfway down the path toward the street. She froze, mid-stride and turned to look up at him, her eyes wide and surprised at the way he no longer said her name with hesitation. "Why this car?"

She smiled warmly, her cheeks pinking as her eyes drifted for a moment. She looked back up at him. "My sister likes green."

The End.


End file.
